Helen of Marlowe's Blog

The World Has Become Too Complicated for Me

Posted in "North Carolina" by helenofmarlowe on February 24, 2013

I do not like my new cell phone. I plan to either take it back to Target or put it under the wheel of the car before I back out.

I can remember when no one had to learn how to use a telephone. You’d pick up the receiver and dial a number, pulling the dial to the right and letting it go. You’re four when you see your big brother do that, and you instantly catch on. Later, when dials were replaced by buttons with numbers on them, the learning curve wasn’t too steep for me. I caught on to that right away.

Now, the whole world is changing faster than it took that rotary dial to fall back into place. And the smarter my phone gets, the more my brain cells deteriorate. There is a direct correlation between the birth of new electronic devices and the death of synapse connections in my central nervous system.

I liked the cell phone that I laundered last night. It had buttons that push.  I could press left and right and up and down and feel the tactile response. I could text with my thumbs almost a quarter as fast as my granddaughter, and I never type u for you.  This new one  has no tactile feedback. It wants me to slide my fingers across a screen.

I also liked the cell phone that I laundered before I laundered this one, but that was months ago and I am no longer mourning it. See, I can move on, when practicality requires it.

The second time I left a cell phone in my pocket and ran it through the laundry (no, not this time, this is the third) I bought a tiny sd card, put all my contact info on it, and thought I was ensuring that I would not have this aggravation again. I put the sd card safely away, and I even remembered where I put it. It turns out the sd card is not something that I can slide into the new cell phone and lo and behold, there are all my people. No, the contact info is on the sd card, but either my new phone does not know how to sort it back into usable data or I don’t.

So if you, gentle reader, are one of the people inadvertently washed away, you might send me a text with your name included, and I will start to rebuild my data.

If the world continues to change at this pace, I won’t even know how to get up on the right side of the bed by next winter. Because there will actually be a wrong side. Or maybe there already is.

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7 Responses

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  1. Anders said, on December 28, 2012 at 12:56 pm

    I agree that things move faster and faster. I’m just happy that the idiotic trend towards smaller and smaller phones was stopped. There was a point where I could barely see the buttons, let alone press them without a needle, this particular brain damage is thankfully gone

  2. helenofmarlowe said, on December 28, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    Humans will evolve into creatures with pointed thumbs.

  3. vorsteggianuu said, on December 28, 2012 at 3:32 pm

    You might take heart in the knowledge that this year of malfeasant electronic devices is almost over — and perhaps we can find new remedies to limit our stumbling over new-fangled technology. Maybe we can find a store or a web-site that sells last year’s technology!


  4. Jim Wheeler said, on December 28, 2012 at 5:23 pm

    You have my sympathies in spades, Helen. While we still have a fairly simple cell phone with tactile buttons, other pieces of technology have been giving me fits lately. First, I changed ISP’s last month and that caused our email address to change. The ramifications of that are legion! It affects online bill paying and that for us is everything, with but a single exception. It also affects every online retail account, our new medical records account and investment accounts. Some make change easy and others a nightmare.

    I have 3 1/2 pages of user ID’s and passwords. Don’t ask.

    Then, I’ve been having trouble getting my desktop iMac to sync with my iPad. There were two problems with that – first that I declined to update my software because the new isn’t compatible with my personal finance software, and secondly, the power transformer for my USB hub had come unplugged and that left too little power to do the job. I was going nuts until one day I happened to look under the desk and see it lying there.

    Hard to believe that there hasn’t been an effective finance program for Mac’s since Quicken 2007, but that’s the case. I tend to be OCD and am hooked on being able to download account data and knowing my true financial status. I guess the system has us where it wants us. Hang in there, Helen.

    • helenofmarlowe said, on December 28, 2012 at 11:03 pm

      Jim, I’m making a note to myself: Whenever tempted to change ISP, re-read the adventures of Jim. Are you sure those 3 1/2 pages of passwords are all yours? I seem to be missing about half of my six-pages of passwords …
      Thanks Jim — It’s a comfort to heard that I’m not alone.

  5. MKennedy said, on December 29, 2012 at 9:35 pm

    Oh Helen, I love the way you expressed your disdain for our new super tech world. I am probably much worse than you. After leaving my work with Mass Spectrometers, linked to HPLC and ION chromatography, I felt such a relief to be “un-hitched” from those monsters of technology. Yesterday, I felt so proud of myself in taking instructions over the phone from the service manager at Quality Oil on how to bleed the line from the tank to the furnace. This was “shade tree mechanic” work, and perfect for my intellectual proclivities of late.

    Keep on writing, my wordsmith friend. You can certainly turn a phrase.


    • helenofmarlowe said, on December 29, 2012 at 11:15 pm

      Martha, yes, shade tree mechanics made sense. Things with hinges and latches and moving parts, yes, that makes sense. Although I do admire your ability to work with chromatography and with Mass Spectrometers and Occupy protesters and petitions to legislators. Thanks for stopping by, and I hope to see you for real soon.

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